Christmas day 2008

wow,it's been a hard time today,I'm not enjoying life,I guess I was thinking of this blog as a way only of trying to gauge how I was feeling at different times of the year.and don't know why I have this negative view of life,maybe because I went on a job interview,and of course they gave me no offer of employment,because once they found out about my lifting restrictions,it was thank you will keep your resume on file and if anything should become available will give you a call,,basically I have a lifetime of experience that I can no longer use because of the back injury,just extremely depressed,I'm really hating life right now, the holidays are just making it worse,because I'm focusing on everything I've lost,and didn't see any prospects for the future. definitely hating life today. the physical pain is definitely taking a toll on my mental health, I used to say,I envy stupid people,because they walk around life without a care in the world,totally oblivious to the world,they're just happy, even though they're stupid,they have it made,because they don't have a care in the world ,nothing to worry about! was reading about a person died,and I thought about how lucky they were in that they don't not have to deal with the daily garbage of life.yes they don't have to put up with it anymore, they're lucky ones.