health worries

I'll start from the beginning,I have this lump inside the skin of my Palm,feels about the size of a Lima bean,had this has a couple years don't know how long it's been there really know it's been nearly 4 years because I had health insurance and and thought if I ever really bothered me I would go to the doctor,well now I have two more of them growing under his skin of my Palm the first one didn't hurt and now these are starting to hurt,and now the question is do I go to a doctor,or do I like to start taking my body over,of course I wonder if it's cancer,cancerous,on one hand my life sucks,and if I really die what's the big deal.I have no body that depends on me.I don't have a wife or any kids.I do occasionally watch my sister's kids but of course if I'm gone somebody else will just watch them,they've already have great memories of me.thing is the only reason to go to doctor is the fear of a slow painful death of cancer.was going to be fast that would be no problem.obviously the fear of the unknown.are the growth's in my hand cancerous,two weeks ago thinking of calling a doctor up,but it was was a Friday my doctors only there Monday to Thursday.truthfully I cannot remember last time I at the doctor's office,well who was when I was going through all the tests for my accident,since there's nothing they can do is no reason for me to go to the doctor.so here I am wondering if life is worth living.I mean I would never do anything to hurt myself,guess it has to do with my weekly job search,every time I go to the job center I feel like such a loser,here I am almost 50 years old,no job,nobody wants to hire me because of back injury,just a constant reminder of the life i have lost.I had dreams and plans.I'll get over this,,you need to face the facts and go to the doctor and find out what's going on with my hand.I don't neglect my health,yesterday I went to the dentist in had three fillings.and I don't know I can't put it into words,i feel like a loser,I've lost my career,soon as I tell an employer that I had back injury,they're like thanks for telling us,if we find something that it's your qualifications we will give you a call,it's like I got leprosy or something.